Jones Soda Letter

June 27, 1998

Urban Juice and Soda Co. Ltd
1356 Frances Street
Vancouver, BC
V5L 1Y9


Dear Jones Sodajerks,

I love FU-FU BERRY!!! I tried it two weeks ago and I can't get enough of the stuff! What is the fruit flavour in it? I don't think I've ever heard of an actual fu-fu-berry. Is there such a creature? Anyhow, it's great! I even wrote a song about it (sung to the tune of "Flintstones"):

Fu-Fu, berry fu-fu, it's the drink that comes from outer space,

Boo-hoo, no more fu-fu, someone drank the last one in the place

How it, makes me want to dance and float,

When it hits the ba-ack of my throat

Fu-Fu, berry fu-fu, it's the greatest thing since "Barq's Has Bite!"

You can use that for a commercial if you want, free of charge. I also read on the bottle that you accept pictures for your future labels. Well, I don't have a camera, so I thought I'd just let my daughter (Rosetta) draw you a picture instead. Hope you like it!

* Drawing of stick figure with a gun, holding a bottle of Jones soda *

Rosetta wants to be a police sketch artist. Thanks for taking the time to respond to my letter. Could you send a cap or t-shirt (XL) for my daughter if you have one? She'd be blown away!

Tommy Lee Jones in "US Sodas",

Dairn M Peters

Jones Soda Reply

** Hand written on a Jones Soda postcard **


Dear Dairn,

Thank you for your letter. Everyone at the office had a crack at the song. No one can carry the tune! We also enjoy the picture Rosetta drew. To show our appreciation, here's a t-shirt for Rosetta.

Thanks,

Mary

National Geographic Letter

December 11, 1998

National Geographic Society
1145 17th Street NW
Washington, DC
20036-4688


Dear geography giants,

Thank you for inviting me to speak at your conference on the third weekend of March, 1999. I am overwhelmed that my theories on global warming due to unnecessary animal kingdom flatulence has come to the attention of the world stage. Please note my speaking topics for each of our four sessions together, and my list of items needed upon my arrival in DC:

• Session #1 "Am I My Monkey's Uncle?"

- Spandex bike shorts

- Juggling set (including live crab)

- Ordinary deck of cards

• Session #2 "To Fart Or Not To Fart, That Is The Question"

- Suitcase full of marbles (at least 1/3 steelies)

- Full size wall map of Paraguay (no problem for you folks, I'm sure!)

- 7 unopened packages of Silly Putty

- Vegas style deck of poker cards

• Session #3 "The Turtle: Nature's Suction Cup"

- Three 1977 American pennies (I only have Canadian)

- Dancing girls - no more than 9, no less than 4

- Jar of fresh tomato paste

- Deck of Old Maid cards

• Session #4 "Koo-Koo-Ka-Choo"

- Cans of spray paint (enough for everyone in attendance)

- 4 Star Wars action figures (works best with at least one Yoda)

- A Diners Club card

- Pack of 1989 Upper Deck baseball cards

Thank you so much for preparing for my arrival in advance, and for having someone meet me at the airport. I'll be at Dulles by 8:35am on Friday, March 19th. Please write back to confirm, as my phone was lost in the recent storm (typhoon Bertha really kicked us around up here!).

I subscribe for the pictures,

Dairn M Peters

National Geographic Reply

*** Still waiting ***

NOTE:

I have some more letters to post but I am definitely running low. If you are a first-time reader to this blog, I suggest starting at the beginning (in the archives) as many of the best letters were posted earlier.

If you are a veteran of D-MAIL, then this post is where you can let me know of suggested letters to write! If you have had a frustration or interesting experience with a particular product or company, leave me a quick note in the comments below. I may write a few more letters in the future, and if I use your suggestion, you will be somehow included in the body of work ("name changed" to protect the innocent, of course).

Keep reading. My hope is that you get a chuckle or a smile from some of my letter-writing silliness!

Dairn