Nabob Letter (1)
October 6, 1995
Gerry Steele
Nabob Coffee Co
3131 Lake City Way
Burnaby, BC V5A 3A3
Dear perk-a-lator professionals,
I must confess right off the top that I am not a coffee drinker. I apologize for not supporting your company in a financial manner, but I can't bear to be involved the the slaughter of millions of coffee beans each year. (Just kidding, I'm not a vegetarian or anything like that!) The reason for my letter is to compliment you on your thoroughly addicting product. You see, my friend Douggie drinks approximately 12 cups of your coffee each day (even more on weekends), for a weekly total of 96 cups. That's around 34 litres each week! He buys your fine ground coffee in bulk at Costco, and yet he's in fantastic shape (no yelly-jelly, java belly if you know what I mean)! His wife pleads with him to cut down, but even she admits he's in the best shape of his life, and he keeps drinking more!
Anyways, I have a question for you. His addiction leads me to ask if your coffee is laced with cocaine in any way? I mean, it does come from Columbia right? By the way, how's Juan Valdez doing? I hope he's being paid well considering every bean is handpicked by him. Also, that poor donkey of his, having to pack millions of beans out of the jungle each year. Have some compassion and upgrade Juan's technology a bit! Maybe a helicopter, or at least a side-kick named Pedro. What do you think? I was also wondering if Juan Valdez is in any way related to the Exxon Valdez oil tanker disaster a few years back? If so, I may have to continue my boycott of coffee and not start drinking it any time soon! But Douggie will never stop chugging your brown liquidy stuff. He's a diehard! By the way, do you have a cool Nabob cap and t-shirt (XXL) lying around that you could send to me? I know Douggie would just love it! Thanks a lot!
Mr. Steele, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my questions and comments. Also, thanks again for checking into the shirt and cap thing!
Gerry Steele
Nabob Coffee Co
3131 Lake City Way
Burnaby, BC V5A 3A3
Dear perk-a-lator professionals,
I must confess right off the top that I am not a coffee drinker. I apologize for not supporting your company in a financial manner, but I can't bear to be involved the the slaughter of millions of coffee beans each year. (Just kidding, I'm not a vegetarian or anything like that!) The reason for my letter is to compliment you on your thoroughly addicting product. You see, my friend Douggie drinks approximately 12 cups of your coffee each day (even more on weekends), for a weekly total of 96 cups. That's around 34 litres each week! He buys your fine ground coffee in bulk at Costco, and yet he's in fantastic shape (no yelly-jelly, java belly if you know what I mean)! His wife pleads with him to cut down, but even she admits he's in the best shape of his life, and he keeps drinking more!
Anyways, I have a question for you. His addiction leads me to ask if your coffee is laced with cocaine in any way? I mean, it does come from Columbia right? By the way, how's Juan Valdez doing? I hope he's being paid well considering every bean is handpicked by him. Also, that poor donkey of his, having to pack millions of beans out of the jungle each year. Have some compassion and upgrade Juan's technology a bit! Maybe a helicopter, or at least a side-kick named Pedro. What do you think? I was also wondering if Juan Valdez is in any way related to the Exxon Valdez oil tanker disaster a few years back? If so, I may have to continue my boycott of coffee and not start drinking it any time soon! But Douggie will never stop chugging your brown liquidy stuff. He's a diehard! By the way, do you have a cool Nabob cap and t-shirt (XXL) lying around that you could send to me? I know Douggie would just love it! Thanks a lot!
Mr. Steele, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my questions and comments. Also, thanks again for checking into the shirt and cap thing!
Does Bob truly "neigh" or just whinny?
Dairn M Peters
posted by Dairn | 4:56 PM
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