Pacific Trading Cards Letter
February 10, 1999
Pacific Trading Cards Inc
18424 Highway 99
Lynnwood, WA
98037
Dear card company colossus,
Please help me. I have a math problem. If two trains, loaded with highly prized Pacific Card products, leave Chicago and Seattle at the exact same time, on the exact same track, heading exactly towards each other, for how much would I have to mortgage my home in order to collect enough freaking points to get diddly-squat in your wonderful "Collector Rewards Program"?!?!?!?! (Please tell me you catch a hint of sarcasm)
I know that my math metaphor leaves something to be desired, but please hear me out. My local card dealer gave me one of your collector reward catalogues (#1), and needless to say I was drooling over the prospect of getting some valuable, rare, "not-sold-in-stores" Pacific collectibles. When I got home, the laser cut "In The Cage" series of baseball and hockey cards caught my eye. Wow! They are some fine looking pieces of cardboard. Then I saw "only 60,000 Pacific points" (plus 300 shipping and handling). That's not so bad, each package of Pacific cards must be worth close to 500 or 1000, I thought to myself. Brain freeze! My 10 packs of cards each said "2 Points" in the corner. Must be a mistake! I took out my calculator and figured out that I would need 30,000 packs of Pacific hockey cards. At $2 per package (a very conservative estimate, I might add), I'd only need $60,000 to fetch my coveted laser-etched 20 card set. Were they made on the moon??? Do they have gold from Bill Gates' teeth??? Are they made from the diamonds on Michael Jackson's glove???
Please answer my question: WHO ON EARTH CAN AFFORD YOUR REWARDS???
Otherwise, keep up the great work.
Pacific Trading Cards Inc
18424 Highway 99
Lynnwood, WA
98037
Dear card company colossus,
Please help me. I have a math problem. If two trains, loaded with highly prized Pacific Card products, leave Chicago and Seattle at the exact same time, on the exact same track, heading exactly towards each other, for how much would I have to mortgage my home in order to collect enough freaking points to get diddly-squat in your wonderful "Collector Rewards Program"?!?!?!?! (Please tell me you catch a hint of sarcasm)
I know that my math metaphor leaves something to be desired, but please hear me out. My local card dealer gave me one of your collector reward catalogues (#1), and needless to say I was drooling over the prospect of getting some valuable, rare, "not-sold-in-stores" Pacific collectibles. When I got home, the laser cut "In The Cage" series of baseball and hockey cards caught my eye. Wow! They are some fine looking pieces of cardboard. Then I saw "only 60,000 Pacific points" (plus 300 shipping and handling). That's not so bad, each package of Pacific cards must be worth close to 500 or 1000, I thought to myself. Brain freeze! My 10 packs of cards each said "2 Points" in the corner. Must be a mistake! I took out my calculator and figured out that I would need 30,000 packs of Pacific hockey cards. At $2 per package (a very conservative estimate, I might add), I'd only need $60,000 to fetch my coveted laser-etched 20 card set. Were they made on the moon??? Do they have gold from Bill Gates' teeth??? Are they made from the diamonds on Michael Jackson's glove???
Please answer my question: WHO ON EARTH CAN AFFORD YOUR REWARDS???
Otherwise, keep up the great work.
You gotta know when to hold 'em,
Dairn M Peters
posted by Dairn | 9:36 AM
2 Comments:
gee... i sense a lot of hostility.
no wonder they didnt write back to you!
Hostile? Moi???
:-P
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